Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
