i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
