In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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