I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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