he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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