it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
