Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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