We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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