My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
