I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
How external is "for external use only"?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
