whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
