do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
