I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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