So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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