i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
