I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
