sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
