Well apparently he's into motor boating.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
