i jhust puked up my retainher.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
