According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
