i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
