you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
