How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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