His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
