I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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