I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
