that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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