no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
what is it with giant penises always finding me
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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