her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
