I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
