I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
