Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
