theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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