After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize