oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
