i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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