the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
