did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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