if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize