I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
