After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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