I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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