we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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