I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
