just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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