They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
