ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
