Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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