quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
