You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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