She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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