she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
