I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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