we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It's never too late to be topless.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
