The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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