If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Sober January is a disaster.
I checked into jail on foursquare
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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