i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
