I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
