No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
